Little
Murders,
by Jules Feiffer
Man -
(gradually exploding.) What's left? What's there left? I'm a reasonable man.
Just explain to me what I have left to believe in. I swear to God the tide's
rising! . . . We need honest cops! People aren't being protected anymore! We
need a revival of honor. And trust! We need the Army! We need a giant fence
around every block in the city. An electrically charged
fence. And everyone who wants to leave the block has to have a pass. And a haircut. And can't talk with a filthy mouth! We need
respect for man's reputation. TV cameras! That's what we need! In every building lobby, in every elevator, in every apartment, in
every room. Public servants who are public servants! And if they catch
you doing anything funny - to yourself, or to anybody
else - they break down the door and beat the living shit out of you. A return
to common sense! We have to have lobotomies for anyone who makes less than ten
thousand a year. I don't like it but its
an emergency! Our side needs weapons too. Is it fair that they should have all
the weapons? We got to train ourselves! And steel ourselves! Its freedom I'm
talking about! There's a fox loose in the chicken coop! Kill him! I want my
freedom! (He collapses.)